Tag Archives: self-love

What’s Wrong With My Social Circle?

So, according to Paul Brunson, when we get older “our social circles begin to shrink and the dating process becomes more challenging.” This makes a  lot of sense, but I am only nearing twenty-five, so what the heck is wrong with my social circle?! Although I play a lot of roles, I meet very few new people, especially not new guys. This is sad, but I don’t think I am the normal case, so I am going to take a moment to introspect and diagnose my own problem areas. Maybe this will be helpful to some of the other weirdoes out there like me (I doubt it).

  • Problem Area #1: Über-Coyness
    So, I’m so pressed to be coy that sometimes my slight diversion of the eye becomes an eye-roll and my grin is a snub. You won’t even get a hello unless you come up off one first.
  • Problem Area #2: Oh So Routine
    I go to the same places ALL THE TIME. And they are all in the same area. Granted, there is a nice pool to choose from in this area, but so far, no bites. But my desire to save gas and my irritability when I can’t find my way around prevent me from making any quick fixes to this one.
  • Problem Area #3: Not So Routine
    If I have been going to the same place for a while, and, all of a sudden, a guy who also frequents that place seems to be interested, I will avoid it altogether. Weird, right? But my nerves can’t handle the awkwardness of getting to know someone while I’m on my routine. A rare occurrence the other day might cure me from this one though (I really like that place and he was fine enough to endure the awkwardness).
  • Problem Area #4: I’M MUCH TOO COOL FOR THIS!
    Getting down those first three was such a dig, and truth be told, I think I’m too awesome to try to figure out what’s wrong with me. In fact, I really just thought it might be entertaining to share some of my own weird quirks; no real solution was ever intended. There is so much dating advice out there, but sometimes I am not convinced that it is really that deep. I marvel at how complicated we make this whole dating thing though…

Paul Brunson excerpt from Essence Magazine May 2012 issue.

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