So, according to Paul Brunson, when we get older “our social circles begin to shrink and the dating process becomes more challenging.” This makes a lot of sense, but I am only nearing twenty-five, so what the heck is wrong with my social circle?! Although I play a lot of roles, I meet very few new people, especially not new guys. This is sad, but I don’t think I am the normal case, so I am going to take a moment to introspect and diagnose my own problem areas. Maybe this will be helpful to some of the other weirdoes out there like me (I doubt it).
- Problem Area #1: Über-Coyness
So, I’m so pressed to be coy that sometimes my slight diversion of the eye becomes an eye-roll and my grin is a snub. You won’t even get a hello unless you come up off one first.
- Problem Area #2: Oh So Routine
I go to the same places ALL THE TIME. And they are all in the same area. Granted, there is a nice pool to choose from in this area, but so far, no bites. But my desire to save gas and my irritability when I can’t find my way around prevent me from making any quick fixes to this one.
- Problem Area #3: Not So Routine
If I have been going to the same place for a while, and, all of a sudden, a guy who also frequents that place seems to be interested, I will avoid it altogether. Weird, right? But my nerves can’t handle the awkwardness of getting to know someone while I’m on my routine. A rare occurrence the other day might cure me from this one though (I really like that place and he was fine enough to endure the awkwardness).
- Problem Area #4: I’M MUCH TOO COOL FOR THIS!
Getting down those first three was such a dig, and truth be told, I think I’m too awesome to try to figure out what’s wrong with me. In fact, I really just thought it might be entertaining to share some of my own weird quirks; no real solution was ever intended. There is so much dating advice out there, but sometimes I am not convinced that it is really that deep. I marvel at how complicated we make this whole dating thing though…
Paul Brunson excerpt from Essence Magazine May 2012 issue.